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03 February 2012

The Flu

so sick Recently I got the flu for the first time. Naturally I woke in a panic, called my gentleman friend (from bed, he was downstairs in the kitchen) and demanded his presence in my bed chamber. “I have throat cancer”, I announced, trying to elicit as much sympathy as I could muster. To my surprise he wasn't convinced by this diagnosis and in a typically logical and irritatingly male fashion he decided to reassess by taking down the list of my symptoms and typing them into a self diagnosing website. His conclusion: glandular fever. Well at least he wasn't right!

An hour later in the doctors office, I could have fallen off my chair in shock as she told me that I had the flu. Really?! But I feel like I'm actually dying! This is hideous! All I could think about were the times I'd cursed my friends for canceling a boozy lunch because they had 'the flu’ and my response had been ’Come on dude, pull it together, Cosmo's are FULL of vitamin C!’.

How can we make this gruesome illness more bearable? This is what I did:

  1. Call a conference with your beloved partner and explain to him that you have the ACTUAL FLU, not his male version, and you will be out of action for the next week. His new duties include all your normal duties - the school run, cleaning, chores, feeding children, you, any pets... make him a list!

  2. You probably won't be able to eat but make sure you drink as much water as you can stomach. Not only does this help you get better, it also helps lubricate and soothe your sore throat and poor aching limbs.

  3. As soon as you can, try to eat a little, even if it's just dry toast. Fuel your way on the road to recovery and keep your metabolism ticking over.

  4. Stock up on chick flicks, the latest TV series you missed because you were too busy, that novel you saw reviewed but never downloaded onto your Kindle….. yes, you feel crappy but still try to make the most of the inertia. A nightly bath with candles and a book will work wonders. Stick in some muscle-relaxing oils and call it medication!
Having the flu is awful, really awful, so all you can do is make yourself feel as comfortable as you can. On the upside, you’ll more than likely lose a fair few pounds!

Photo credit: rachel_titiriga


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